consequences
by Nmhmsn
Summary: There are consequences for everything you do. There are consequences for breaking the law. There are consequences for not doing cores. So, why shouldn't there be consequences for not loving me right? This is my first ouat fic so please be kind


**A/N: this is a modern au captain swan fic, so Emma never found her parents, but she did find Killian** **. Sorry for the angst lol (pls don't kill me- I'm a huge cs shipper)**

* * *

There are consequences for everything you do.

There are consequences for breaking the law.

There are consequences for not showing up to work on time.

There are consequences for not doing as you are told.

So, why shouldn't there be consequences for not loving me right?

Maybe its because I'm not like those other girls who lie to your face and talk behind your back. Those girls who slept with you one night and never called you back. Maybe its because I demand excuses as to why you neglect me, even though I know you have time for me.

* * *

 _"Killian? Where were you?" I questioned- it was supposed to sound soft but came out challenging.  
_ _"Busy." Again. "I was with Robin" you defended. You always defended, never just answered.  
_ _"No." I stated, this time even more challenging than the first "I don't believe you"  
_ _"I promise" he interrupted me before I could go any further "I was with Robin" he kissed my forehead "I love you" he kissed me before i could stop him and call him a liar. Again. I deepened the kiss slightly before pulling away altogether, I'm not that easy and so simply said: "okay". Maybe its better to keep my thoughts in my head._

* * *

There are consequences for not loving me right.  
For every time you've ignored my text but responded to a Facebook comment.  
Pleaded for my attention but withheld me any of yours.  
Leaving me for everyone else then pretending to feel guilty.

* * *

 _"Listen to me" I pleaded, this was my fifth time of asking whith no avail. Taking a deep breath I tried again, "Killian, listen to me, I don't want to go!" "Emma!" You had snapped back at me "everyone is expecting us, so bloody get yourself in the car and come with me to granny's!" This happened every night, just like clockwork- because I 'knew everyone there', 'it would be fun' and 'everyone is expecting us there." Each night we got there, there was not one fucking person I knew with the exception of Killian, although nights like these I'm not sure I knew him either._

 _The nights at granny's were always followed by an awful morning after, not usually because of the al cohol- well at least not for me anyway. In those mornings you always woke up earlier and moved closer to me, to redeem yourself obviously. Redeem yourself from talking to your college friends all night and leaving me sitting at the bar by myself, drink by myself even walk home by myself because you didn't manage to get your drunken ass home until three am._

 _You always said you were sorry but I can guess nine times out of ten you weren't, you only ever said you were so you always had tonnes of my attention and I had just enough of yours. You needed to to say sorry to make up for the texts you missed last night, the ones you 'didn't see' but the Facebook comment you did._

* * *

 _Your gentle voice pulled me from my untold thoughts: "what are you thinking about, love?" you asked carefully so I wouldn't lose my train of thoughts, that you so desperately wanted to know._

 _"Nothing really"_

 _"No, I want to know" you had objected. I don't know why though; I'll scare you away. "I want to know more about you: your thoughts, your secrets, your hopes and your fears. I want to know every part of you, Emma." I guess you made me feel special; you put me first- maybe that's why I told you._

 _I would have told you the chlich_ _és: happy family, good home, great school. I wish I could have told you them. Instead I told you the truth; my walls came down and I trusted you. I spoke about my parents , or lack of, how they abandoned me as a child and I was put into the foster system. I had a family until I was three but they had decided they wanted their own child so gave me back. could you imagine telling a three year old, who had only known one family her whole life that they don't want her anymore? That they were sending her to live with someone else because they wanted somebody different. After that I was in and out of group homes and families until I was old enough to leave. I had moved schools almost each year and never went to the same place twice. I told you that I used to hope for a family and a happy life with my parents but soon realised it would never happen because they didn't want me in the first place; they're not going to want me now. so instead I fear it. I fear they will come back for me and my guard will be up and I'll push them away. I dread that they'll leave me alone, that you'll leave me alone and I'll back to a new city every six months._

* * *

After that night you disappeared like a dad who wanted no part of the responsibility.

You had never owned up to your actions.

You had never even apologised not one pathetic 'sorry' muttered under your fucking breath.

* * *

There are consequences for not loving me right.  
I will not tell you I'm leaving.  
I'll just go. Disappear.  
There are consequences for not loving me right.  
That consequence is losing me.

And I'll never be sorry again, love.


End file.
